If We Were in Resident Evil grin
by Rekishikaraakui Elvish Vamp
Summary: I save the world from the evil Umbrella and- *glares at Akki* THIS IS MY SUMMARY!!! *smiles at the poor innocents reading this* After reading so many fanfics about if the author was in RE, we decided to "have a reality check"


(.)=my friend's notes. She likes to be called Seira  
everything else=written by the magnificent Akki that everyone loves and adores (*coughliarcough*) *rolls eyes* ya know you love me. anyway.

We were having a sleepover. You know, I kinda knew that was a bad idea (sure you did.), but that's just cuz I'm so great. Unfortunately, against my will (against YOUR will? I think not.), I was forced over to Seira's house to spend the night watching horror and playing games where we kill lots of stuff. About three in the morning we finally fell asleep-I of course didn't need to (You wish!), but I thought it'd make her feel better about being tired.

I pretended to be asleep until she started snoring really loud and killing me with her arm (What happened to me being a dead person? Now I beat people up in my sleep?) You do! I saw it! Really! (sure...) *sniff* anyway-when we got up, we were a bit confused. You see, it was already evening again, but she didn't realize that we'd just slept through and entire day and was running around saying that we went back in time to before we were asleep so we could prevent the world from being eaten by the giant fruit bat and it's dance partner moth. (Actually, I believe that was you.) No. The fruit bat was me. Not the moth. (So! You started it! *a box of tissues falls on her arm* Noooooooooo!!! The evil tissues are trying to kill me!) I, of course, (Die tissues!) with my brilliant powers of deduction (*coughliaircough*), realized what had happened.

After calming her down (As I sat calmly on the couch, I might add.), I glanced outside and gasped. A pizza was on the ground. OVERTURNED! (Dun dun dun dun) -yea, they're that good- I ran outside to save it, and that's when the trouble really started. There were ants on the pizza! That and the fact that the zombies from Resident Evil were swarming around, but no one really cares. (Yup. Just ignore the zombies and they'll go away.) *nods* Kinda like moldy cheese. You ignore it and then it disappears. Except when it takes over the house. Hmmm.. That's not really a good example, huh? (Nope.) Well, zombies are a lot like moldy cheese. Instead of going away quietly, they started moaning outside our front door. come to think of it, that's kinda wrong.(You just had to point that out didn't you?)

She came up with the bright idea of splitting up. (You wish) I protested (By saying "Hey! Why don't we split up?"), because in Resident Evil, splitting up is one of the worst things you can do. She wouldn't listen. *sigh* If only she'da listened to me.(Actually I did. Stupid me.) *growl* In anycase, she went outside to do something or other. I think she was visiting the mailbox. (I think I went out there because SOMEONE *coughakkicough* said "Go outside and check. What could happen?") There's a history there, ya know. (I'm not even gonna say anything.)

We decided on a meeting place-I was going to check the vital computer files to make sure Umbrella hadn't discovered my *cough* -our- *cough* plan to infiltrate their Spring Hill base (Located in the local Eckards. That's why they always say "Camera check on all aisles" when we walk in. They don't want us discovering the secret passage) in the bathroom that I so valiantly discovered while helicopters were shooting. (*types period after shooting*) *erases period after shooting* (*types period after shooting*) *leaves period because she keeps the document on her computer and can delete it later with less hassle* (Those were spitballs. Shot by me.) I'd then meet up with her and keep her safe (*rolls eyes*) on our way to save the world. Of course, most of the saving would be done by me. (The hiding, you mean.) Some people just aren't cut out to world saving. (Such as you.) and you. (So true.)

Somewhere in the world, a guy named Bob was mowing the lawn, completely ignorant of the nightmare overtaking Spring Hill, Florida. He has nothing to do with it, so we'll return to the story.

So I finished saving the world since Seira took too long, (I kinda thought the zombies outside were more important than beating Final Fantasy X.) *blinks* I'm confused. (*sighs* At the end of FFX they save the world. You should know that.) then sat on top of the oven, which just happened to be in a secluded corner where no one could get me.

I waited for several years (seconds) more, but she never came. Eventually I hopped off, grabbed my trusty swords and machine guns and rocket launcher. Unfortunately they were all broken, (Because they don't exist.) so I grabbed the kitchen knife and headed off to find her. I traveled over oceans (Some water I spilt on the kitchen floor earlier.) and deserts (Don't ask.) and almost all the way to the other side of the world, only to find her half dead, being eaten by zombies. Even so, I attempted to save her, (The screaming didn't help, though.) only stopping when she whispered in a last breath of sanity, "Go. Run! Do it without me!" (What I really said was "Don't just stand there! Run!") I didn't pause to comment on the fact that I wasn't going to do it with her anyways. That's kinda ummmm.. Not right, ya know? (Pervert.) But I still ran bravely, (*sings* When danger reared its ugly head she bravely turned her tail and fled!) killing thousands (zero) of tyrants, and millions (nada) of zombies with my own bare hands, since I'd left the kitchen knife with Seira.

She caught up with me though, and bit into my neck, (Yum.) causing me to turn into another zombie. We then were found by Leon Scott Kenedy. Luckily, he didn't pay attention to us, since there was a really big monster behind him. (Hehehe.) We wisely went away. The best zombies to ever live are the ones who never die. (Technically...) We survived the nightmare.

  
THE END (?)  
  
Btw-remember Bob? He does have something to do with this story. We're eating him.


End file.
